Full name: Laura Condemi Kobia 

Nationality: Italian

Year of birth: 1966

Occupation: European Union Permanent Official (competition law, regional development)

Education: Master’s Degree in European Policy

Children: 2 daughters (8 and 10 years)

Date of arrival in Baku: November 2009

Expected duration of stay: 4 years

Reason for expatriation: Appointment of her husband, the Ambassador of the EU Delegation in Azerbaijan, H.E. Roland Kobia.

The first thing that strikes you about Laura Condemi is her wittiness. She is very energetic and never lost for words in any language (she speaks four fluently – Italian, French, Spanish and English). A particular kind of Sicilian charm embraces her interlocutor and climaxes during the most genuine bursts of laughter. A diplomat’s wife in status and a force of nature in spirit, Laura is one of a kind.

Multi-lingual kids

Laura, her husband and their two daughters moved to Azerbaijan at the end of 2009. Prior to that and throughout most of the past decade, they were posted in Africa, specifically in Kenya and Congo where Laura and her husband had their two children. The passion for travelling is part of their life-project, and as Laura puts it “comes with being curious and open to other cultures”.

As a family they are ready to be challenged by new surroundings and adapt quickly to a different reality, especially the girls, given their young age. “Obviously the education of my daughters is of utmost importance,” comments Laura. “One of my concerns upon arriving in Baku was to be able to educate them in one of their native languages (French or Italian). Unfortunately, this option was not available here so they had to react and switch to the English education system instead. That is what I mean by being able to adapt to your environment and accept a change of plans”.

A representative role

Since 1991 and throughout her career Laura has worked for the European Commission (EC). Most recently she worked in the EC Headquarters in Brussels on regional development. In 2003, posted in Kinshasa (DR Congo), she was the head of chancellery for the EU Delegation. Later on she became the Legal Advisor for the United Nations Development Program (UNDP) agency in Nairobi.

When it was time to choose a new posting, her husband naturally turned towards Azerbaijan, as he had previously worked in the Private Office of the EU Energy Commissioner in Brussels. “It was a choice we made together, my husband and I, after a couple of years at the EU Headquarters in Belgium.” For Laura this meant putting her professional ambitions aside during her husband’s current assignment “as there cannot be any conflict of interest with his mission”. However, she is open to the possibility of engaging in a professional capacity to make a contribution to national development. In the meantime Laura stays up to date on current affairs and socio-economic issues by participating in seminars and conferences.

Social status and activities

Laura responds to the question about her obligations as the wife of an Ambassador with a half-smile. “It is painful in the first five seconds when you are merely introduced as “the wife of”, or even the “mum of”. It makes you feel that people you meet do not expect you to be “your own person”. Obviously it is up to me to be recognised for what I am and not let my confidence be shaken. Let’s say it requires adaptation and a lot of inner strength to remember who you are as an individual. And I am not the kind of person to stay silent as I believe I have things to say.” This couldn’t be more true, and not only does Laura speak, she acts. Her activities include receiving high-level official EU Delegation missions that come from Europe to pursue strategic interests in the Caucasus region. Laura also dedicates time to fundraising. “I participate in addressing social and humanitarian issues as part of the Head of Missions Spouses (HOMS) association that gathers around specific development concerns, such as orphanages or women refugees. I help raise funds from private companies and individual contributors during charity events. For example, for our last fundraising activity, we invited all the embassies represented in Azerbaijan to donate bottles of wine for a wine-tasting night. We collected a great deal of money from entry tickets and the event was a success.” Laura is also interested in the work of the international community, specifically in programs designed to help women acquire professional autonomy. Finally, she is developing strong feelings for Azerbaijani art and plans to create a permanent exhibition space at the EU residence.

Making friends

Being in a new country often means having to recreate your social surroundings. Laura explains why it was at first difficult for her to make friends, “I have the feeling that we (as Italians) share a similar understanding of “family” with the Azerbaijani culture. We also put our family first and foremost. It is the cornerstone of our society. This means that it is quite unusual for an outsider/foreigner to be introduced into close private circles, which at times limits social contacts. But once you get to know people personally then there is room for true exchanges.”

She remembers that at the very beginning she sometimes felt uncomfortable, “It felt like I was invisible, and if I were to speak they looked at me as if I had committed a crime. You can imagine that, coming from an Italian culture, I am used to expressing spontaneously my feelings and my opinion.” Now Laura has adapted to social expectations, while still asserting herself respectfully. She believes that there are international values that cannot be compromised, even by the so-called “traditions and culture”. Her way to claim those unwavering values is to embody freedom and confidence in herself, thus encouraging similar behaviour in Azerbaijani women.

The future of women

Laura has an optimistic vision for Azerbaijan’s future in relation to gender equality, “Taking into account the tremendous economic development of the country and the promotion of open religious values, women’s empowerment is just a matter of time. Baku is at the centre of this economic growth and clearly the regions are currently less exposed to this ongoing transformation, but the example of more autonomous women will inspire change and eventually bend the most conservative mindsets”.

She reflects upon her own experience, looking back 30 years from now when she was living in Sicily and was still accompanied by a chaperon each time she had to meet with her fiancé. “I created a social earthquake when I decided to go study abroad on my own”. She laughs happily. “You see, it was not that long ago, and things have changed so fast in only one generation!”

Laura pauses for a moment and ads, “Courage and confidence are the means to empower women, if they believe in themselves and follow the inspiration of other self-determined women there shall be no stop.